Life is Beautiful.

Life is beautiful.

that is all. absolutely beautiful.

no picture needed, life.is.beautiful.

Never.

He will never give up on me.
He will never abandon me.
He will never tell me I am not good enough.
He will never lead me into pain.
He will never distance himself from me.
He will never let me down.
He will never have any other motives but of love.
He will never neglect.
He will never ever make the mistakes the world chooses.

Sometimes who God is is most clear to me by who He is not.
I may only be human, but he is God. Grasp his perfectness? Oh, how I will try.

**On the picture, I usually dislike depictions of a white, clean clothed Jesus, but this one was different.**

Questions.

Some things are just so overwhelmingly beautiful all I can say is "Thanks for this God."

Usually it's things that are temporary, that I know won't last long. Often times that is really hard for me to understand. I ask God "WHY" a lot. I really just want to understand him. I want to understand everything he is doing. Afterall he has ultimate wisdom of things, He knows best, I want that, I want to know God's thoughts. I realize that can never happen. But is there not some sort of medium here? God wants to be known by us, what does that look like?

I know, as a child of his it is not always my place to know certain things. I have such a hard time understanding why he would give me things just to take them away again. It hurts. Yes, a lot of the time I grow and thank Him for the experiences, but sometimes I just don't understand the hurt. And I feel I never will. How is that okay?

I don't have any answers for that. I really want to be content that my Father has everything handled. I want to be able to completely trust and feel content even when I don't understand why he brings certain things in and out of my life.

It seems like recently I have thanked God for things that are bringing me a sense of content, but I know those things won't last long and i find myself pleading with God before they end to make the disappearance of those things less painful. And then I wonder why those things fluctuate in and out of my life, and if they are even from Him. And if they aren't why did He not protect me? What am I to learn out of these situations? This is definitely my westerner microwave mentality coming into play I'm sure. Those that wrote the Bible knew what it meant to wait on God, wait in the suffering, wait in whatever they may be in. So I'm looking through the scriptures, and its hard, hard to wait.

Oh Daddy, why not reveal more of yourself to me? I want it, I want you. You see my needs, my deepest thoughts and desires, and you say you protect me and work everything out for the good...I just want to know where you are. Where are you God? You're here, obviously, but how? How are you working?

Do I answer the unresolved questions I have in various situations in my life after God answers the questions I have for him? Or are these simultaneous? When I talk to God, I feel like I run myself in circles, but I also feel like I'm running myself in circles in other places in life. I need him to intervene. Is that all I ask?

This entry has a lot of question marks, but that is just sort of where I am at right now, with lots and lots and lots of ??? floating around. Some things go gorgeously and are a blessing...and I know we can not ever really appreciate these until we do not have them, but what if we've already been in the valley for these things? What if we are just tired? And sometimes we need God to show himself through these things. So when a situation in life starts to finally go right and then wrong again I wonder where God is at. What is he doing? What should I be doing?

But maybe all I need is
silence.
time.
Just to let him work.
I don't need to be in control, as much as I want to

Psalm 46.

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

(photo by my friend Caroline)