Band Aids.

It is not enough to believe. We must follow and pursue with reckless abandon.


Knowing this sort of terrifies me. I avoid the idea of "reckless abandon" because, as a human, I don't want to recklessly abandon the safe comfy circle I have going. Yes, this safe circle is not at all safe, leads me to feel insecure with this world and what it has yet I still cling to it like a baby clings to its blanket. I know what I cling to is not the full kingdom or plan God has and yet I still have trouble letting go. I say I don't want to do the normal Christian walk, that I want to live radically. But at the end of the day the only thing stopping me from that radicalism is my fear of it. I want it so badly. Yet, at the same time I shamefully want my comfortable life.

I admire those who pursue things in life without any care or worry about security. The revolutionaries, the radicals, those who have given up this world. Most times those people have no guarantee of security. So why can't I, as a Christian whom God has promised to always keep in His hands, just go out into the world with a reckless abandon, without fear, without compromise, without turning back, without hesitation?

Is it possible for God to rip off that bandaid for me? I wish it was. This fear of failing for Christ is pathetic. My failures are coming true the longer it takes me to make that jump for Him. To jump into a life in which I live completely and wholly for God, with no reserves, no inhibitions.

Life has ensnared me with its false promises of hope and comfort. I want to want to live wholly for Christ.